Something meaningful

"从今天起，做一个简单的人，踏实务实。不沉溺幻想，不庸人自扰。要快乐，要开朗，要坚韧，要温暖，对人要真诚。要诚恳，要坦然，要慷慨，要宽容，要有平常心。永远对生活充满希望，对于困境与磨难，微笑面对。多看书，看好书。少吃点，吃好点。要有梦想，即使遥远."

Safe journey

Beautiful song, beautiful mv.

"Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors
Oh, and life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even gray, but she buries her baby"

The girl I mentioned in previous post, passed away this afternoon. She was so young, 2 years and 6 months old, the sharp knife of short life. When I passed by the cubicle, the grandmother and mother were crying and saying their last prayers for this lovely girl, the grandma called and thanked me. I was taken aback, as I was only involved in the very early stage of her management.

The family had been strong, the grandmother actually told me "God loves my granddaughter more, and I accept it dengan reda, I believe this is the best for her" On the other hand, I was the one who couldn't respond well, I stood as still as a tree and let the words rain down on me.I find it difficult to search for words to console and comfort her. I could only pat her back during her time of grief, and secretly say a little prayer for the girl and family. RIP, DE.

I am hypertensive when you are hypotensive

Today, basically I have been busy taking care of one patient since 7am till 5pm. The little girl looked so fine the day before,she then suddenly developed septic shock during morning round, and required 3 inotropes despite 3 boluses. Called ICU, and to our dismay, there's no available bed, we have no choice but to treat the patient in our paediatric ward. Specialist asked me to stay with the child and monitor her condition.

Reviewed her vital signs and clinical condition almost every 30 minutes, informed MO and specialist regarding the progress ( I was so worried that I might miss important clinical signs. And looking at those lines with inotropes, IV drip maintenance and correction,K fast correction,IV antibiotic made me even nervous! ), ran down to lab to send blood sample for urgent investigations, called and received calls from HSI, traced results, updating the plan from time to time. Now, I can recite her IC and RN forward and backward.

Whenever I passed by the counter in disposable apron or with trolley, my colleagues will throw me sympathetic looks and asked, "why are you so busy?", and some of them were sweet enough to offer help, which I really appreciated. I was grateful that I had learned something new today. All in all, today is definitely a busy but fruitful day =)

Macrographia

Today the specialist and MOs were discussing about the KKK (klinik kanak-kanak) book we gave to patient to be followed up at Paediatric clinic after discharge. One of the specialist commented that we wrote too many trivial things in the book, no wonder we took long long time to complete the book.

Then, the other specialist said we shouldn't write too much, or else the pages will not be enough for future follow-ups. Suddenly, a MO said, "Yalo, like See, the handwriting so big, one admission already used up don't know how many pages..." "Hahahahahaha..."

Hello, I am See

Hello,friends, phew... at last I am free to scribble something here. I have been working for almost 3 weeks, however, I still find it hard to adjust my status from medical student to house officer. I was lucky being posted to Paediatrics department where all the colleagues, MOs and specialists are nice. A gentle start for a 1st poster =)

The first few days of working life were difficult for me, tagged from 7am to 10pm, 25 mins drive from home (I don't complain much about it, as long as I can go back home everyday =p), and blur all the time. I was depressed not because of long working hour, but I felt that I am incompetent most of the time. Even worse when I worked around senior HOs, I was always wondering how can they be so confident or know so much or just so pro?!

I ended up crying at a dilapidated corner of hospital where I thought nobody would have seen me. Mana lah tahu, one of the Paed MO saw me. So, the next day, she approached me after round to ask if I was ok. The other MOs were very nice too, whenever they saw taggers, they will brief us on what we should do/should not do and teach us some basic and important knowledge to survive in this posting.

It's undeniable that I learnt a lot during tagging and done a lot of mistakes (not tracing result, forgetting to endorse medication in drug chart, missing out some points the specialist mentioned, etc) too.

Bad things happened, but good things too. I was thankful that my colleagues were willing to guide me during procedures despite busy ward work. The kind MOs will shower me with "See, have your lunch already? You better go and eat now." "See, you can pass over the case to people-on-call, go to eat or take a bath or do whatever ..." "See, you ok ah, got problem or not?"

I guess I am getting a little more used to my HO life now, and life gets better after off-tag. It's a different world when I can go back home at 5pm and work half day during weekend, the flower smells nicer, the zephyr feels warmer and even the ward seems more welcoming. There's still a long way to go, hope that I can pick-up things faster and do less harm to patient. Wish me luck , people, I definitely need that!